I have begun looking for a job once more.
For the past several months, I have been trying a lot of things and letting myself be drawn further and further away from my initial goals for the break I took. Good has been accomplished (chiropractor, stir-fry, JS study, growing conviction), but that has been falling away, especially ever since the holidays. Instead, mindlessness and sin have been growing in my life.
After a talk with my father a couple of days ago, it became apparent to me that I needed to take initiative to find a full-time job once more. As it is my most marketable skill, Web Development has been my job search focus.
A few days ago, I worked up the courage to send an email to Wouter of By The Pixel to ask for his permission to use him as a work reference and to let them know that I was looking again. The following was their response:
Hello Jeremy,
It is nice to hear from you! I hope all is well for you.
Curious, in the past your attention seemed kinda split between web development and other things. Furthermore you left us abruptly for another opportunity. If we were to consider hiring you again, what can you say that would give us confidence that you’d be willing to be a long term member of the team? What would be needed to keep you from moving on to other career paths?
I’d be happy to be a reference for you.
Regards,
Wouter
The questions that Wouter brought up caused me to self-evaluate. I began writing a response, but found that it quickly grew into something that was more for me than for Wouter. I decided that I would have to cut it down to its bare essentials before I sent it out, but I didn’t want to lose the value it had for myself… so here is my self-evaluation of what I want from work formatted in the form of a missive to Wouter Reynier:
Wouter,
Thank you for the quick response and for your willingness to be a reference for me.
Indeed, my attention was split in a lot of different directions and I pursued them all for a time, to little success. Over the past few months, I have realized that my focus hasn’t been in a good place. I’m still going to pursue a number of the projects that I was working on, but as small, sacrificable disciplines working toward a better, more holistic goal for my life. I believe that getting a full-time job back in web development is an important part of that whole.
As far as being able to convince you of my unassailable commitment, I don’t know if I can do so in good conscience. My intent now is to find a company and to dig in, working hard, investing in it and its future—but only for the time that I am there. I don’t know how long that will be. It could be six months, it could be five years.
My long-term life goals are not to work full time on other people’s projects. If I was going to pin it down, I really want to eventually be working on a project that enriches people mentally, even spiritually. I think that I’m fine whether it would be my own product or someone else’s of whose team I would be an important part.
Ultimately, that is my desire. I’ve been trying to force a way of getting there quickly with my own power, but it’s clear to me now that I’m not there yet. I have a long way to go. For now, Web Development is a pursuit of valuable skills, a disciplining towards excellence, a means to develop relationships with people who I hope to have a positive and encouraging influence upon, or perhaps to get the same from them. Wherever I am, I hope that my being there will facilitate the work of Christ.
In summary, I’m not sure that I can provide what you are looking for in a hireling. What I can offer is hard work, an intent to serve and to learn, and a commitment to do my very best by my company and colleagues for as long as I remain among them.
That is all I can promise. I hardly feel like it is enough, but it is all I have right now. God have mercy on me, and continue his maturing work in my life!
Sincerely,
Jeremy Driskell
*edit follows*
This process was redeeming for me. Eventually, I ended up calling Wouter directly to let him know that I am most interested in a job that is communications or teaching oriented, that coding is something that I like doing, but that it doesn’t seem to match my life passion. Because they are looking for commitment, I passed on the opportunity to be considered for a permanent position.
Wouter told me that he understood and that he had expected an answer something like the one I gave. He told me that he felt that our relationship was still good and that no hard feelings were held from his side. He offered to push some contracting work may way as it comes available, as well as gave me a recommendation as to what area of the web industry might match my passion better.
All in all, I feel blessed by this experience. God is good.